Amusing

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For CosmicRay

Panel 2:

(Background info for those who don't know CosmicRay http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Goerzen and http://gopher.quux.org:70/People/ or gopher://gopher.quux.org/1/People )

Comic by Randall Munroe from http://www.xkcd.com/554/

Bye Lulabelle, thanks for the memories!

Sam has had to send his Xbox 360 (which he's named Lulabelle) in for repairs. Maybe I can catch up to his gamerscore in the meantime ;)

Best song EVAR

Of course someone who loves Sponge Bob still finds humor in liquid poop songs :)

The Good Morning Hot Dog

In the Simpson's episode "Bart's Friend Falls in Love", Homer watches a TV ad for a heart attack inducing burger:

We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger.

Erica Barnett of The Stranger wrote that she finally found a Stuff Magazine article she could get behind: Super Leftovers: Bacon, Cheese, and Beer Dog. Stranger News Intern Jonah Spangenthal-Lee made a dozen of them and chronicled everything from their creation to their devouring by The Stranger staff.

It's like the Good Morning Burger come to life, only in hot dog form :)

Human Sling Shot

Why go to an amusement park when you can setup your own ride in the back yard? :)

Pancake bunny!

For several years, the following image has been passed around the Internet:

Bunny with a pancake on its head

The image is so prevalent, I even saw it at the counter of the Pancake Pantry in Nashville.

Today, Sam found the webpage of the pancake bunny's owner (which includes a picture of the bunny with a pancake on its head). The bunny's name was Oolong (he passed away on January 7, 2003) but he lives on as an Internet meme for all eternity :)

If it doesn’t fit, you must…

Dell Dimension 2350's don't have the slots typically used by video cards. So this genius decided to cut the card so it fit in the slots his computer does have :)

Video Card

No one cares if I just sold a velvet Elvis….

Since it has been so long since I have posted anything, I thought I should get around to it... but alas my life is just not that funny or interesting and I am okay with that but in the interest of appeasing my loyal fans (mom) I present to you today two chuckle worthy lists!

The Top 10 (unintentionally) Worst Company URLs
Attn Entrepreneurs: Everyone knows that if you are going to operate a business in today's world you need a domain name. It is advisable to look at the domain name selected as others see it and not just as you think it looks. Failure to do this may result in situations such as the following (legitimate) companies who deal in everyday humdrum products and services but clearly didn't give their domain names enough consideration
1. At a site called "Who Represents" you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is www.whorepresents.com
2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers
can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further
than Pen Island at www.penisland.net
4. Need a therapist?
Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com
5. Then of course, there's the Italian Power Generator
company's www.powergenitalia.com
6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based
in New South Wales www.molestationnursery.com
7. If you're looking for computer software,
there's always www.ipanywhere.com
8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church.
Their website is www.cummingfirst.com
9. Then, of course, there are the clueless art designers
with their wacky website www.speedofart.com
10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe ?
Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com

Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the country. Here are last year's winners.....
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was
room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Thank the Maker!

Despite his statement that he would never release the original, unaltered versions of the original Star Wars trilogy on DVD, yesterday George Lucas announced that the original, unaltered versions will be available in September 2006. He's also following the Disney model - the new DVDs will only be available until December 31, 2006 - then they go back into the Lucasfilm vault.

Supposedly the reason for the about face is to test whether the demand for the unaltered originals is really there.

The bad thing about this new release is that it also includes the DVDs that were released in 2004 as bonus material, so anyone (like me) who already has the 2004 DVDs will essentially purchase them twice. I should buy stock in Lucasfilm, although I can't, since it's a private company.

I wonder when George will change his mind on Episodes 7-9 :)

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